personal journey

My personal journey towards a life filled with more and more health and happiness

My number one reason to start this journey was to be free from disordered eating. I was stuck for over 10 years in negative thinking, isolation and extreme binge/purge cycles. It came to a point where I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired I was determined to dig a way out by doing my own research.

Coming across an abundance of resources on healthy living: inspiring stories, mindfulness, yoga, positivity, documentaries, self-help books, you name it: it devoured it.

Step by step, bite by bite, I got better, more positive and stronger, till slowly but surely, my eating disorder got irrelevant.

Till I simply didn’t need it anymore. I was finally free, and feeling so damn good, I couldn’t imagine going back to that miserable state ever again.

By living an increasing positive and healthy lifestyle I not only freed myself from this eating disorder prison, I started feeling better than I could ever imagine I would or could feel!

This made me re-assess my life on deeper levels as well. I now had the clarity of mind to think about those questions that seemed irrelevant -as all I would really think about during my eating disorder days was binging and purging,sad but true-. So I embarked on an equally challenging and exiting journey: The one to find myself. My true self. Finding my inner passions and my purpose in life. Step by step I am adding in the things that make me fuulfilled and happy to be alive: dancing, writing, cooking, feminism, reading and . Next to this t, this also meant letting go of the things that do not serve me any longer: high-stress jobs, unfullfilling relationships, draining friendships, self-doubt and negative body image, are some of the things I am glad to have left behind.

So, this is my story,of how I was able to totally transform my health… AND happiness. Naturally! Everybody has a story, choose to let your past make you better, not bitter and you are already halfway there. Take back control over your own story, if I could do it, than surely you can do this to!

Life is crazy, life is fun, life is challenging and after so many years of struggle I can finally say wholeheartedly: “I love it! Every part of this crazy ride called life” And so can you. Start your own journey here!

Truth be told, my journey is far from over. My life is my journey and I will continue learning, evolving and challenging myself.

I am still healing from the havoc I did to my own health & happiness during my 10 year long struggle with an intense eating disorder and depression.

* My hormones got so out of whack I am diagnosed with PCOS,and am still dealing with acne, which I am currently healing trough: living an optimally healthy lifestyle, eating whole foods and continuing study on women’s hormones and how to work with -instead of fight against- these.

* My self worth was so low simply lost all respect for myself by failing again and again in recovery. The little self-respect I had during this time came mostly -and emberassingly- from one thing: attention as response of the way I looked. Always worrieng abou the way I looked and making sure I looked “the part” I have come very far from this -luckily- today but am still working on this. Loving myself more and daring to show my TRUE self, daring to be vulnerable, sharing my story, stop comparing myself to others and stop putting so much value on outer appearance.

* Due to all the binging and purging my stomach and intestines got quite damaged. I have been diagnosed with leaky gut sydrome. Meaning: my body can not absorb all of the goodness of my -now so- healthy diet. Also this I am currently healing by nutrition (wholefoods) and lifestyle adaptions (mainly decreasing stress levels).

* As a former food addict, I am still very much prone to overeating. My body got so used to using food as comfort and especially in times of stress, it is easy to fall into this habit. I am dealing with this with having my friends & family on speed dial, when I have a had time, I search comfort in company rather than food. Next to this I eat very little processed foods, as the high sugar content of these products, are still very much triggering intense cravings.

* If this wasn’t enough I have also been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue. Because I put so much stress on my body by living the impossible lifestyle of a full-blown bulimic my body had to produce so much adrenaline to keep up it got tired. Also this I am working on with nutrition (low-glycemic & whole foods) and by decreasiing stress by continuous yoga & meditation practice.

This seems like quite a long list of health problems and might seem disheartening. But really, I can feel myself getting better.. Day
by day, step by step, bite by bite: I get stronger -body, mind & spirit- and it’s an indescribable powerful feeling.